Snow!

Yep, it snowed here...I'm delighted. This would be the view from our apartment balcony.

Growth

So I just had my first Christmas entirely in Turkish. The Christmas Eve service was in Turkish at a large(ish) church here and then my Christmas dinner was together with a number of those who are a part of the very small church that I attend here in Ankara. I have to admit, to my shame, that I was disappointed to discover that the American family that had invited me to Christmas dinner had also invited the whole church as well...I selfishly was looking forward to a traditional, Western style, English speaking, small family Christmas dinner. Alas, it was not to be, but thank goodness!! It turned out to be ever so much more and so much better than that...

We were a unique mix of Canadian, American, Turk, Korean and Iranian, some solid long time believers, some new and shaky and at least one Muslim. Turkish was the common language and as the evening progressed the conversation turned from the trivial to the profound. It was such a joy to discuss the tenets of our faith with different folks sharing their thoughts and questions, struggles and frustrations, experiences and interpretations. As I sat and listened and watched I was thinking how incredible it all was...this is how we grow in our faith, in community like this. Sunday church has its place for sure, but the depth and growth that I was witnessing and personally experiencing that evening cannot be contrived and can really only happen when we open up our lives to one another.

The new and shaky believers were watching the experienced and solid ones in action (not talking about foreigners here, it was Turks and Iranians who did almost all of the sharing) and gaining encouragement and wisdom from that. They were also able to bring their difficulties and questions to the table where they would never be able to in a Sunday service.

I was delighted that this Muslim lady was also present to listen to our discussion, to see how we interact, to hear our struggles and concerns. She too felt free in that setting to voice her thoughts and questions and experiences. One of the guys mentioned that he had witnessed Jesus in a dream and her face lit up, "really?!" she asked, then she began to share how the other day when she was praying (at the church actually) she felt a presence come and stand beside her, white and gleaming, she said she had the sense that it was Jesus but was actually afraid and didn't want to look up. To my mind came Peter who told Jesus to get away from him, a sinful man, when he first recognized who He really was but before anyone really had a chance to offer anything, she got up to leave as she'd been called away by someone else. We'll definitely be praying and chatting more!

So this discussion would never have come about if it had not been for the simple gesture of inviting folks to be a part of our world. I am convicted. We're well aware that that is how Jesus did it with his disciples--He taught them, true, but mostly they were just with Him, in all the details of daily life--so when, how and why did discipleship get reduced to a once-a-week or twice-a-month meeting to work through a series of lessons in a booklet that summarize the essentials of Scripture and the basics of 'walking with God'?

Solitude and Community

I'm rediscovering how much I love solitude and starting to understand how beautiful and necessary community is.

We spent the last week of classes out in Antalya with a couple who have a retreat type property out in the woods. The topic for the week was prayer and the idea was (for one week) to follow some of the monastic principles of living together--working, eating, playing and praying together, interspersed with times of silent and isolated contemplation. The space was ideal, a warm country style home with a large round table for meals, a firepit outside, fruit trees and a garden, woods all around, as well as a very small rustic cabin this couple had built for the purpose of meditation.

It was a fabulous week.

Seated in that dim cabin with a candle, listening to the rain outside and the birds, feeling the gentle wind blowing through the cracks, smelling the scent of pines, chatting with my maker...I came alive again. How I missed that. Another time was spent in an isolated spot amongst the pines with the sun shining down on me through the gaps in the trees, birds still singing, the smell of the woods engulfing me, and I just stood--arms outstretched--and worshiped.

As we read liturgical prayers together morning, noon and night in unison, did chores together, made jam and/or hung drain pipes together, ate meals together at that round table, worshiped together, cooked together, sat and laughed around the fire together, shared and learned together...I also came alive. How I long for comfortable, embracing, genuine community.

This evening I've had the privilege of having the house to myself and have enjoyed much needed alone time with my beloved, and now I'm anticipating tomorrow morning when I will get to share it with the others in our morning worship time and hearing from them of their experience of Him...

This is our faith--deep, intimate and intensely personal but equally so it is shared, diversified and enriched within a greater whole.

Things that made me smile recently...

• I had dinner with my old roommate at her place recently and the neighbours saw me coming into the building gate, reported to my friend that I was on my way up, then came out to greet me and in proper Turkish style hugged me, kissed me, then while continuing to hold my hand wanted to know why I hadn't been coming around anymore, praised me for my wonderfully improved Turkish, invited me in for tea, expressed lament that I was leaving for Ankara next week...Turkish 'teyze's (aunties) make me smile.

• Moving again had me reflecting on the various people I've lived with over the years, I smiled as I realized the variety of nationalities that I've been privileged to share a space with thus far--American, Canadian, Turk, Swedish, Romanian, Korean, English, South African, Finnish and Austrian.

• On Tuesday night we celebrated the birthday of a Turkish friend, the highlight of the evening would have to be my friend trying to teach a bunch of foreigners how to belly dance, absolutely hilarious, our hips just don't move that way...I have pictures, though not digital unfortunately...or maybe fortunately...
  

• On my way to help at the Correspondence Course this morning, I saw an older man leaving his building with a big bag of cat food. He was immediately surrounded by tons of very excited, very happy street cats. He was grinning, they were purring, and I smiled.

• Once at the Correspondence Course office our Turkish friend Z told about her most recent street sharing escapade. She and some other Turks and foreigners are out every week and almost every week she has a funny story to tell about how after the iman yelled at them, the nearby shop keepers got to hear the gospel because they wanted to know what all the fuss was about; or about how once they were taken to the police station they didn't actually know what to do with them (it's not illegal) and then some police quietly asked if they could actually have some of the literature they had with them; or about how one little child was teasing them about their literature and then she gave him one and then when they came past again this kid was sharing the tract with his friends! She's wise way beyond her 20 yrs and so funny, she makes me smile.
  

• I had coffee with some friends at a Kahve Dünyası this afternoon, a Turkish coffee place that has a small bowl of chocolate covered coffee beans at every table and gives you a chocolate covered spoon with your drink, and they are cheaper than Starbucks...yep that makes me smile.
  

Conviction...

I was at the once-a-month all night prayer meeting at my church the other week and I enjoyed it immensely, the times of worship, the intercessory prayer, the fellowship with people...it was also a wonderfully convicting time as well. God reminded me of some essentials that I'd forgotten, or rather just let slide a little these past months with travels with friends and family and lack of any set routine.
First up, I was talking with a Kenyan friend from church, great guy, had backslidden from his faith for many years but fell in love with God all over again while working here in Turkey. He was also with us as a translator with that short term team here this summer doing street dramas. He shared that since that time he's gotten this new boldness and excitement. He said he feels he can't hold it in, he just has to go and talk with whoever gets laid on his heart. He offers to pray for people on the bus and talks to people on the street whenever he senses the Spirit saying to him, "that one" or "this one". He was even rejoicing at the fact that his job had recently cut back on his hours since even though it meant less pay, it meant that he could have more time to be available to talk with people should the Spirit direct! He said he was amazed because the person he was even 1 1/2 years ago would never have done this.
He then asked me--without any sort of judgment or comparison, just genuine joy and expectation--"How about you? Have been talking with anyone?" I had to answer honestly that no, I hadn't. The fact that I wasn't talking with people on the street isn't what was convicting though (that's not where my heart is, I like the long term relationships) it was the fact that he was fully embracing and using the gift and calling that God has given him and just delighting in that, the same was not so much true for me as of late.
My conversation with him combined with a short clip of a sermon that we listened to were powerfully convicting. The speaker stated with passion and some sadness that we've been entrusted with the Gospel. This is not something to be dismissed or taken lightly. We need to devour it up and then use it; wield it, share it, and actively! Since seminary I've stopped devouring the Word the way I did when I was searching it to write a paper or prepare a sermon; now I mostly just read it, I don't necessarily meditate on it, rarely do I cross reference, or do word studies or topic studies or context studies.
The speaker also spoke of how God has been beseeched for labourers for the harvest--a labourer works hard and long; he fasts and prays, he labours greatly in the secret, he doesn't wile away his time. It dawned on me how much of my time has become consumed by non-essentials, that slowly I'd been letting those things slide in my life. I want my once-a-week fast back; I want to be in prayer more regularly, well, constantly; I want to once again be deep in the Word--studying, meditating, memorizing, basking in it, sharing it; when I'm with people, I want our talk to not always be empty. Like my Kenyan friend, I want to fully embrace and delight in the gifts and calling God given me, namely prayer and discipleship.

Bureaucracy...

So today I spent about six hours accomplishing relatively little. Not that Turkey is really all that bad concerning bureaucracy compared to a lot of countries, but still, it was an adventure that unfortunately will continue next week...

After getting things done at home (Turkish study, laundry, etc.) I left the house around noon first to go and pay some bills, one was the gas bill (about a 20 min walk away) the second was the phone bill which has to be paid at the post office (about 5 min from the gas place). After that I hopped on a minibus to a more central neighbourhood to get a bus ticket to Ankara for Sunday.

After that I headed to an exchange office to get some dollars to deposit into the bank account I was planning to open.

Next stop was the bank. I need to try to apply for a residence permit soon (save me all these visa renewal exits) and in order to get one I need to prove that I have enough money to last me for the length of the visa I'm applying for (and do a few more things!). To prove that I have enough money I need to have a bank statement with that amount on it. In order to have a bank statement with that amount, I need to have a local bank account. So off I went to a bank with all that I was told I would need, a passport and some dollars to deposit (I need a dollar account).

I had to take a number when I came in. The fun part was that the machine had a couple different buttons to press, so you had to look on the wall first to see which services were connected to which button. (It's the same at the post office here.) So I figured out which button to press, got my number, and waited, and waited...going on 2 hours, I finally got called. Only to be told that in order to open this account I needed a tax number. But my friend opened an account without one, I explained. He must not have been a foreigner. He is, he's Canadian too. You need a tax number madam. Where might I get one? At the 'Vergi Dairesi' (like a tax building). Do you happen to know where that is? Ask the security guard at the door, he can direct you.

After getting directions from the security guard and then a couple of convenience store clerks along the way I finally made it to the tax building. In order to get a tax number I needed a photocopy of my passport, no my actual passport was not what they wanted. So, off to a photocopy place to get a copy of my passport. Upon return, I was directed to the first floor and the right window. I got my tax number, headed back to the bank, and was informed that yes, I would have to take another number.

After waiting another 40 min, the bank was beginning to close, graciously they let me be the final customer. I joyfully handed them my tax number and passport and told them I wanted to open a dollar account. They began to enter my info only to inform me that the system wasn't accepting my info, I didn't fully understand what they were telling me, except that it was something like the system had to get used to my tax number??? They took a photo copy of my number and asked if I could come back Monday morning!!! That the system should have no problem accepting my info by then.

All that, and still no bank account. After a quick grocery stop, I finally arrived home around 6:30. And this is only the first of the things I need to do to get my residence permit...oh joy. I don't how people who have full-time jobs get their bills paid or get to the banks here!!

What now?

So, I'm starting to think that maybe my Turkish is not quite as bad as I often feel it is. Lately when I tell people what I'm doing here if they ask (that is, I'm studying Turkish) their reaction is not "right, what school are you at?" or something to that effect, now the reaction I usually get is a confused look and then "but you already know good Turkish?!" I guess I do. I've actually started to pray out loud in Turkish during our prayer meetings which has been one of the most difficult things for me to do. I even translated for a group doing street dramas this past week!

My language helper has even become more complimentary as of late. She looked at me with genuine surprise the other day at this sentence that I used while talking with her. We actually have a hard time staying on the lesson these days, we usually end up just talking for long periods of time! She's my age, knows and loves God, and is in the same phase of life as me...really, I couldn't have asked for a better language helper! We try to limit the chats until after the official lesson time is over but, well, it doesn't always happen that way. It's still language learning in some sense I suppose but she doesn't correct me then and doesn't go into explanations of grammar and its usage in such-and-such a context, or idioms, or new vocabulary--you know, things I'm paying her to teach me!

While I know I'm nowhere near as fluent as I'd like to be and definitely not ready to teach in this language yet, it's nice to know I'm well on my way:)

I suppose this means that I should be moving on now, I mean using Turkish rather than studying it as a way to grow in it. But what, where, how? Good questions...there are options on the table but nothing is clear or definite, I'll continue praying and seeking, and I'll keep you posted.


Here's a shot of me using my language skills, teaching 4 & 5 year olds:) I'm not sure what's with the expression on my face here, I was actually enjoying telling the story that evening!